Saturday, 2 February 2013

It's A Chore Doing Chores

I don't know about you but housework doesn't do it for me? However, today was the day I had decided we needed to buckle down to it. We'd only done the bare minimum this week making beds, washing pots etc. I'm sure I don't need to draw you a picture. Anyway it had felt as if we'd had better things to do or perhaps we just lacked the motivation? There was the day, long, long ago, when I found doing chores more profitable. No I don't mean I was paid for it. I mean when it seemed a good and appropriate thing to do. However, now I balk at it. What makes it even more irritating is that my OH seems to actually believe I enjoy it. How wrong can one man be? 

Before I retired I had the luxury of a cleaner. My reasoning was I couldn't do everything to an acceptable standard so I decided to sub-contract some of it out. It was a win win situation. Initially I was discomforted by the idea of someone else in the house rifling through my stuff but to be fair none of the cleaners I had rifled, and all of them were respectful of my property. Some were more efficient than others but that's the way it is in any job or profession.

Housework or chores was often a bone of contention that came up on a regular basis during counselling. Usually but not always it was the woman when would feel aggrieved. She would feel that her partner was not making the effort. Often she would ask, 'why can't he see it needs doing?' I would probably say something like, 'because he's not you'. Most men don't see things need doing in the same way. But once you've gained their co-operation they'll usually pull it out of the bag. The other complaint was, 'he doesn't do it properly'. Now that's a different thing all together. Do you expect someone else to do it to your standard or theirs? I would say if your paying for a service you have every right to dictate the standard but if it's a co-operation it only works if one person lowers their standard and the other person ups theirs.

What I do with my partner's agreement is I organise the jobs. I ask him to do things he can do happily to both our satisfaction and then I take up the slack. It means we both do the chores without it being such a big chore! 

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