This morning has been like most recent mornings with breakfast, news, music and before you can ask what time is it? A couple of hours have whisked by. Today was different, however, because I had decided I needed to get back on track and start blogging. What I was going to write about wasn't clear but I was optimistic that something would occur that would inspire me and dear reader it did.
The idea came from one of the numerous quotes that pop up on my twitter time line and resulted in me reflecting on how in our current society goal setting seems de rigueur. The tweet was roughly 'the only goal you need is to have a goal'. I mulled over the idea that things get done and achieved for most people without them ever considering they're setting goals or making plans. Now I don't want the coaches and trainers among you to think I'm disrespecting you because I'm not. I've used planning techniques with clients and in a personal sense and have found them very useful. It's just that sometimes I get fed up with the idea that happiness lies in success and the only way to be successful is to have a goal and a plan. Because in truth some of the best things that have happened to me have been a case of serendipity?
I think plans and goals come into there own if you want a particular job, or say in a personal sense if you feel dissatisfied, or unhappy, because if you know what makes you feel that way you can take a pragmatic approach and sort it. Even if the answer is 'I feel there's something more to life'. There are the questions you can ask yourself to promote clarity for example (1) what makes me feel that? (2) What constitutes more? (3) What can I do to resolve it? After asking these questions it may be that one of the the answers you come up with is to seek counselling or to put more enjoyment into your life and both are achievable goals. However, both of them could cost money so unless you already have the funds you would be off making another plan on how to get the money which now becomes a goal in itself.
So plans are good, goals are good it's just that they're not in my opinion the whole shebang. What seems far more important to me at this point in my life is acquiring the ability of acceptance and to just be. This isn't a new idea for me. I've been talking about acceptance and just being in a professional sense for years. Recently, however, I've been exploring the idea in a very personal sense and it is pretty good. I am enjoying the desultory nature of my days and the freedom that retirement has brought. However, when I mentioned just being I meant something more than reacting to whatever the day brings. What I really mean by just being is acquiring a level of self acceptance which says, this is who I am, this is where I am, and it's OK.
So what do I know at the moment? I know I like being retired, I know I am happy in my relationship, I know I am loving, I know I am funny, I know I am irascible, I know I get angry, I know I am kind, I know I am unfit, I know I am overweight, I know I am scared of losing my edge, I know I need to trust in the universe.
So you could ask is just being accepting all of that? In a sense yes. It's accepting that this is where I am and this is how it is now. Will it always be like that? It could be but it probably won't be. For example it's a fair bet that I'll still have a tendency to irascibility but that matters less because it's offset by kindness. Will I remain overweight and unfit definitely not and for that I have a plan!