After a mixed weekend I'm thinking about what happens next. The first thing that crossed my mind is that whether it's me or you today is the beginning of the rest of our lives. I know it's a cliche and to be honest it did make me cringe a little writing it but nevertheless it is true. If you're unhappy or something isn't working for you give it some thought and find ways of dealing with it. That's what I try to do. I don't always succeed and sometimes find myself in a reactive situation but I guess that's another example of human fallibility.
Today I have had numerous things to do but in between the chores I had a visit from my niece-in-law which was lovely. Christmas is approaching but so is my retirement. I met a woman I really liked recently and she told me that when she retired she didn't plan anything for a year. She felt so tired and exhausted she just parked the car so to speak and relaxed. I know others who have retired and plan extensively. I'm thinking that after years of working with a diary the last thing I want to do is to make enjoyment a rigid routine so I think my approach will be to chill a lot and plan a little.
The first thing for me is to get through Christmas relatively unscathed. It may shock some of you when I say I'm not really a fan of the festive season. It seems to me that it's a lot of stressful activity and as a reward we get to spend lots of money on presents that no one really wants? I won't do the boring when I was a kid routine but I am convinced it used to be more enjoyable and I don't think that's just nostalgia. But whether you're like me and will be glad when it's over or a big fan there's no doubt that this is a busy period. It's also a period when the frustrations of daily life can be magnified and spill out sometimes in a destructive way.
Michelle on my problem page recently spoke about Christmas getting in the way of leaving her husband and that happens quite a bit in my experience. People find their everyday life intolerable but tell themselves that after Christmas or when they've been on holiday they'll sort it and or leave. Another myth is that when they've had a baby or bought a house or have got married then all will be well. It never or rarely is it's simply displacement activity. My point is that often people try to stuff down their problems and try to get on with making it a good holiday for the kids or their elderly relatives whilst fighting a sense of despair. Now I'm not advocating that people shouldn't try to put their problems aside. I'm just saying see it as a transaction. It's something you are doing as a gift but you are not the sacrifice. In other words making a contract with yourself that I will do this but the contract expires on said date and then I take action in support of me. If you fail to do that you are more likely to build up the tension and then you are likely to indulge in some boxing day fallout!