Hi Babs - I am not sure whether this is actually a proper problem but I find "social media" actually very anti- social. My partner spends a large part of her downtime facebooking, tweeting, texting and BBMing to the exclusion of actual conversation between her and me ( the ones alive and present in the room).
It's all rather irritating to me.Should I just chill out and accept this as the way of things in the 21st century or address the issue? If I address the issue what should I say?
Thanks for contacting me Robert. I find your dilemma is all too common. I see lots of couples who identify Facebook or Twitter as the source of their problem/s. It is my experience though that when we start exploring it's usually a symptom not a cause.
In my opinion good relationships are all about balance. If the two of you have quality time as a couple, are able to communicate and have a shared intimacy then I'd be wondering what's the problem with sitting together at times just sharing your space perhaps engaged in different activities. If you don't have these things, however, perhaps you do have a problem.
What is it about the messaging that irritates you? It sounds as if you're saying you feel ignored or that your partner is not accessible to you in some way? That she may prefer her social media friends to you? Perhaps if you write down how you feel about her messaging habit then you can work out what's happening for you.
I am also wondering what's the payback in social media for her? Is it a form of escape? Is it fun? What did you used to do together before she began relating on the Internet?
It is not my decision to make but remember if and when you decide to speak to her, be sure to tell her how you feel not that you disapprove of what she does. If you do she's more likely to listen.