I hate preparing for holidays! We have a lovely one booked to go with our son and his family to Morocco. I know we'll have a good time when we arrive there. We've been on holiday with them many times before and we get on really well. However, I dread the upheaval of packing etc.
To begin with this is the time I look at my body and ask myself how I could I possibly expose it to the public gaze? Now I'm smart enough to know that in the main the general population are not interested in an old bird like me, and if they are what does that say about them? Surely they have more weighty matters on their minds? No pun intended. Let's be fair there's lots to talk about regarding the state of our nation and not just about who's to blame? So nobody is going to be looking at my unsavoury carcass? That, however, does not prevent me from submitting myself to the OMG routine when the thought of sunning myself comes up!
Then there's the 'shit' I haven't got a thing to wear. I kid you not when I say that every occasion that comes around on my social calendar I appear to be minus the appropriate clothes. It feels like a Borrowers conspiracy? Though to be honest if that's the case they must be fairly hefty specimens! But this means I now have the problem of sourcing gear which will fit and look OK?
At this juncture I'm really thinking I cannot be bothered. I have the makings of a cold. I'm tired. I have work to do. Then my OH chips in with what medicines etc do we need to take? What makes me the oracle? What stops him from working it out by himself? If asked he would probably say 'if I do it I'll forget something' when what he really means is 'I'll forget something and you'll be critical'. Come to think of it he's probably right. I am a ducks in a row kind of person? Then he utters those encouraging words 'we'll be on the last lap as usual' which translated means 'you'd better get on with it'. So here I am with two days to go and the only prep completed has been done by Jim who has sorted the cameras and photographic gear. I think it's clear where his priorities lie?
My original idea was to visit the Yorkshire Outlet but after a dispirited chat we decided instead to go to Meadowhall or as it's known in our household Meadowhell! So after a leisurely breakfast we venture on the M1 to enter our collective hades. When we arrive there initially it doesn't seem too bad but after a couple of hours trying things on and realising that yes I am a couple of sizes bigger than I was last year I am ready to scream! I know I am responsible for putting on weight but why can't manufacturers accept that people get fatter they don't get taller!!! It is so frustrating! OH is trying to be encouraging but he's failing miserably so we decide the best thing is to head for home where I can sift through my stock of too small clothes to try and pull my holiday wardrobe together.
I am sitting thinking I really could have organised things better. I get why people want magic wands. I want one which will make me two sizes smaller and minus the mountain of ironing I'm looking at while OH mutters comfortingly I don't really need all that!
I HATE PREPARING FOR HOLIDAYS!