My marriage ended 18 months ago and it was not my choice. 7 months ago I met a lovely man who expects nothing from me nor I from him. We meet when we can, go for dinner or to the theatre and more recently spend the night together. It is the perfect relationship for what I need right now and he says the same applies for him. In my heart though I know it is not forever. Knowing that one day it will end is spoiling my enjoyment of it for now. I am so used to being married and I do not know how to just relax and enjoy dating. He has told me he loves me and although I do love him I know it is not forever and I do not want to hurt him in the future. I enjoy the time we spend together but I do not feel the same as I did for my husband. People around me tell me he is a lovely man but they do not see us being together forever either as we are very different. He feels safe and he does know how I feel. I don't know if I am maybe just not ready to be involved with anyone yet. I would miss him if we stopped dating.
It sounds as if you are a little confused. On the one hand you say the relationship is perfect for you at the moment and on the other hand you cannot enjoy it knowing it's not forever?
My feeling is that perhaps you are not healed from the break up of the relationship with your spouse and that is getting in your way. Perhaps you fear commitment having been badly hurt?
What about you and your friend being just that for a little while. I see no reason why because he is male it has to be either or? If it's the sex that is getting in the way just stop it for a period to give yourselves breathing space. Some people can do the sex buddy thing some find it difficult?
As to other people quite frankly they will often tell you what you want to hear. Being different can work well as long as you value the difference and don't try to change the other person.
If you enjoy each other's company you could say meet up once or twice a week being careful that you take turns in choosing what to do etc so that you are both equally invested. Keep up with your other friends and work out any changes that will enhance your life. Then live in the moment and seize the day. In a way that's all anyone can guarantee.