Tuesday, 6 September 2011
Another Working Day
I've just finished for the day - it's 9.15pm and I started thinking as is my wont about whether it had been successful & what I could have done differently. How much of the pressure I felt was created by me? I came to the not entirely new conclusion that yes I was the one who chose to make it difficult. I'm used to OH being on hand when I'm working - he's retired & happily nursemaids me because he knows come Thursday he's free to do what he wants. He wasn't up to giving his usual support so I became the long suffering wife who has to do everything. I became a victim. In other words I made his feeling off colour about me. There I was the hardworking woman having to do everything by myself when in effect all I had to do was a couple of meals & walk the dog. I could have been pragmatic but instead chose to be emotional. I realise I run the risk of painting myself in an unsympathetic light but trust you to see that I'm sharing how easy it is to respond negatively to life's ups & downs.
I love my spouse dearly & I've nursed him through two heart attacks & prostate cancer yet here I was thinking because he had a tummy upset my world was teetering on a precipice! As I'm writing this I'm smiling & thinking take yourself outside & give yourself a talking to Barbara & then perhaps accepting that I do my best & like most people I'm a continual work in progress!