Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Another Working Day

Today has been a full day - mostly client work which I really enjoy but I was also required to take up the slack of the daily chores because OH was feeling off colour. This meant catering & walking the pooch I had already decided anything more was unrealistic. Billy our Westie was virtually route marched around his usual walk. This meant in essence he had approximately 50% of his usual number of pees! Furthermore there was no time for his usual play session. I felt really stressed! Please don't get me wrong the poor man is allowed to feel below par but must he really do it when I'm chock a block? 

I've just finished for the day - it's 9.15pm and I started thinking as is my wont about whether it had been successful & what I could have done differently. How much of the pressure I felt was created by me? I came to the not entirely new conclusion that yes I was the one who chose to make it difficult. I'm used to OH being on hand when I'm working - he's retired & happily nursemaids me because he knows come Thursday he's free to do what he wants. He wasn't up to giving his usual support  so I became the long suffering wife who has to do everything. I became a victim. In other words I made his feeling off colour about me. There I was the hardworking woman having to do everything by myself when in effect all I had to do was a couple of meals & walk the dog. I could have been pragmatic but instead chose to be emotional. I realise I run the risk of painting myself in an unsympathetic light but trust you to see that I'm sharing  how easy it is to respond negatively to life's ups & downs.

I love my spouse dearly & I've nursed him through two heart attacks & prostate cancer yet here I was thinking because he had a tummy upset my world was teetering on a precipice! As I'm writing this I'm smiling & thinking take yourself outside & give yourself a talking to Barbara & then perhaps accepting that I do my best & like most people I'm a continual work in progress!


  1. Well, after a long day for all of us today,AND after cooking a dinner I hadn't planned because my spouse almost had a childish tantrum at the thought of my first option. I decided to go to our room and relax and watch tv whilst my husband was using the computer. I often take snacks and drinks to him whilst he and one of our son's does the same.
    My eldest son joined my and we silently watched a great documentary. After about an hour my spouse came in and declared that he felt like a stranger in his own room. My son and I looked on in shock.
    After he calmed down I asked him if he felt more at home whilst he was relaxing and I served drinks and snacks... His response was to grab his pillow and go and sleep elsewhere.
    I started the evening trying to make it all about me for once and it ended up being all about him AGAIN!
    It would have been simpler if he'd have said, 'I don't want to watch a documentary about Russian Art, I want to see repeats of Topgear AGAIN' I would have understood completely.
    Like I've said before, communication is the key!

  2. I find myself doing this often without realising it - making things bigger than they are. It seems to depend on my mood - some days the smallest thing tips me over the edge, and other days I'm calm throughout and take the chaos in my stride. I find it really depends on how tired I am in the first place as to how well I 'cope'. If I haven't had enough sleep then everyone had better watch out! Great post. I'm a big believer in the fact that we're all works in progress.

  3. Wish you could give my Aunt a good talking to about this sort of behaviour. Her OH has Leukaemia, but the way she carries on you would think it was her!

    Its not always easy to be positive though, I usually try for it, but drugs and pain can confuse the issue, and its hard not to end up thinking 'poor me' from time to time when everything gets on top of you. When that happens, I am in danger of beating myself up for being a failure instead!!

    Don't think of you in a bad light reading this, just loving the honesty, and the fact it may well get others to look at how they behave, and consider how they do things in future.

  4. Thank you for responding Eleni & Zoe I agree it's not always easy to be positive & I believe most of us do the best we can given what resources we have at the time? I'd hate to feel there was no room for change or growth it sounds too restricting? My aim is to be honest - I appreciate your equally honest replies x

  5. I think these feelings are so understandable. We all know about thinking positive, and how powerful that is...but sometimes a little gremlin steps in to create some havoc..and however much you try, you can't shift a mood.

    Love this blog... I think many people would relate to what you're saying.

    PS I love Billy the Westie :) xxx

  6. Thanks for your positive comments Jan & yes Billy is cute! x

  7. As Frankie Vallis Mum allegedly said to him in Jersey Boys.... Tutti et Passe ( All things pass) This accounts for the good things and the bad things.

    That is the distillation of what life really is.

    Without getting too heavy we all know we are going to shuffle off at some unknown point in the future so why don't we all make the best of it??? Because we don't really actually totally believe it applies to us.We might be the first one to live forever or at least 150 at which point all the people we have miffed off will have passed over to the sunlit uplands.I know i used to think like that until i had kids and then life whirled by faster than a fast thing driving a fast car on a very fast day.

    If the abstract were made real and we were told we had three months before our number was up I am sure we would enjoy every single day to the fullest with an intensity and passion that is available to us now if we were up for it.

    That is why my default setting is to smile regardless of what i am thinking. I can always sort the thoughts later. I am not happy clappy but at the same time what is the point of putting someone on a downer ?

    I feel bad so i am going to make you feel bad is not skilful thought.

    Great blog Babs ,good topics , I was going to watch Downton Abbey recorded from last night but felt inspired to add to your blog instead. Nice One !!

  8. Hi Big Al thanks so much your comments - you have made some good philosophical points. I'm not sure about smiling regardless but? It's good to know you're enjoying the blog :)